. . . ang hirap Ma-LEFT-OUT (sobra) . . .

  . paano ko ba ito sisimulan? ang hirap ee. i want to say the things i feel but i can't seem to think of appropriate words. I don't even know where to start.

 . so i'll just start by saying: Out Of Place ay parang nagiging constant feeling ko na ngaun around the people I was Close to BEFORE. I am becoming distant to them (I know) because they are like that to me, it's not that i am taking on a revenge but it is just hard to be close to people who are putting walls between them and you. I started to feel like these a couple of months ago. I admit that Loading isn't something I do regularly, but I think that shouldn't be the reason why i should be LEFT OUT.
( kasi wala lng akong load andami ko ng hindi alam, tpos pag nagtanong ka sa kanila sa personal ang ssbhin sau "magpaload ka kasi" bakit ganun db? bawal ba nilang sbhin un sa personal? hindi ba pwede?)

 . I am also Hurt in a way < not super hurt but kind a hurt> because they don't treat me the way they treat each other. I can't fully explain it but it's like that. I am ALWAYS the last person to know anything from most of them ( from the things they talked about, the things they feel about somethings or someone and many others). It also hurt when they seem to ignore you ( they may did it unintentionally but it still hurt the same way). I always and constantly feel that there are many thing I don't know about them which I should've because we are supposed to be "FRIENDS", i don't blame the others if they feel that they should always ask because the others won't tell it to you willingly.

 . One thing I think that you should know about me is that I don't like being a Fool and I don't stick around especially when i am feeling that i am unwanted. I don't stick around when I am unwanted because I can't bear the thought that there are people who can;t seem to tolerate my presence. I don't want to be labelled as "Kill Joy" and most certainly "panira". Fool because I don't deserve it, I trust you but then why can't you trust me back? I can't think of other explanation possible for your actions. Because I believe that IF and ONLY IF you trust someone you can tell him/her anything but since you don't what more can i expect? I don't also know what is your BIG problem in me having new friends? are you genuinely jealous or you just feel that way because you don't like the person I am close to now. ( i didn't mean to offend you but i can't help feeling this way).

. I don't talk much now because according to many "Madaldal daw ako" so eto mananahimik nalng ako para wala kaung maging problema. nakakhiya nmn kasi ee. I am serious most of the time cause there wasn't anything that i find funny.

. I don't tell them these things because they will just misunderstand it and they are going to twist my words and give their own damn interpretation without telling you. They are gonna conclude something and believe their own without hearing you out first OR they will tell you they UNDERSTAND you but the truth is that they never actually "really understand you".

 . I don't hate you guys that is one thing that i can ULTIMATELY ASSURE you . I am not faking my responses to you but when i am with you i always think of the actions and things you say in front of me that is why I don't say anything much.

- i don't know if it was just me who has a problem or is it really you. I hope this is just a misunderstand we can sort out. You are equally important to me because you were a part of my teenage life my growing years are with you. so i hop we can sort this out.

IniS

   . naisipan kong magblog ngaun kasi ang damidamidamidamidami kong mga bagay na gustong sbhin pero ndi ko alam kung paano, kaya naisip ka na magpost nlng. :D

  . nung isang araw naluha ako <saglit lng nmn>, naiyak ako kasi:

masama ang pakiramdam ko + masakit lalamunan ko + mainit ang panahon + kailangan ko pang makipagkompetensya sa mga maiingay ng classroom namin + magiisip ka pa ng mga bagay na ggawen nio para sa project nio + hihingiin mo ang opinyon ng lahat para walng magtampo ever + hindi ka pinakikingan + binabalewala ka lng = "luha"

  . kahit parang OA ok lng sakin kasi naiinis tlga ako. ung tipong nageeffort ka ng todo tapos babalewalain lng nila un , ndi ka papakinggan ung mga ganun. tpos kahit ung iba mong mga "kaibigan" hindi ka din nmn pinakikinggan. at naghaharutan pa. nakakainis nmn tlga. 

. kanina nainis uli ako kasi ung nangyari nung isang araw nauulit nanaman, buti nlng tinulungan ako kanina ni Smith < thank you >. Pero ang hirap padin kasi ndi ka nila pinapakinggan, hirap silang gawin  un<as in>. 

. buti nmn at may napagusapan kanina na ggwen para bukas. SOrry Kay Mary Therese Jucay < sorry tlga> kasi sia ang napagbuntungan k ng inis ko kanina. sorry. 

-that's all..

Cute girls hairstyle

  . It's been a while since i last post and I decided to post tonight to share to you guys about my favorite channel of youtube, the "Cute girls hairstyle" it is where i get my hairstyle inspiration and techniques.

The video uploader was named "Mindy".

:D Her style are for little girls but may be apply to teenage girls such as my self. I really love them :D. She always share new ways on how to tie our hair according to style as well as your hair length, and your hair type. I usually try the hairstyles to my sister and classmates mainly because i find it hard to do on my self.

My favorite hairstyle that i learn from her was the french braid, from the easiest french braid to a more complex french braid. I just can't help but love it.

She recently posted a video about hair care. I just watched it. here is it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wx3TNYdDU5c&list=UU2LgZ_4GzSFQS-3a87_Jc6w&index=3&feature=plcp

.that's the link. hope you can get tips from there. :DDD

I also visited her website and here are the tips you can use for the betterment of your hair (these are general tips):

1. Drink a lot of water.
2. Eat healthy foods, especially plenty of fruits and veggies.
3. Take a multi-vitamin to supplement what you may not be assimilating from your food {and drink milk}. Biotin is also a very good supplement to take.
4. Regular hair trims {to eliminate dry, damaged, or split ends}. Just the ends, you do not need to take much more off.
5. Don’t over-wash your hair {about once every 3-4 days is ideal for most}. Trust me on this one. Now, I still shower often, I simply wash my hair every 3-4 days. We just wear a shower cap or tie our hair up into a high hair bun.
6. Try not to overuse heat or chemicals {perms, colorings, etc}

that was from her :D hehe.. 

. that was all :DD hope you find it as informative as i do. :D

-pai :))

I tried.

Believe it or not I tried to understand you. I keep trying not to let the words they speak hit my nerves but they still do unfortunately.

I am not deceiving you by being close to you even though I myself do not very much appreciate your actions or choice of words. I am still close to you because I keep TELLING MYSELF that you are just changing like me and everyone else but sometimes you are crossing the line. You do not sometimes care on what kind of words comes out of your mouth, you sometimes don't care if someone might be hurt, you just want to express, whatever it is that you like to which for me is a bit unfair especially if you say those things in public then the person to whom you are telling those stuff can do nothing but sit and stare.

They say that you are a user, you're just close to me or to anyone because you need something from them. I do not want to believe them so please do not give me reasons to.

Believe me I tried But I still fail to understand you. I know that you do not mean to hurt people by expressing yourself but please be mindful that although unconsciously we can hurt others so please be mindful.

I am trying my best not to be influenced by their comments to you but I am finding it hard to do when you gave me proof of their allegations.